Kabaret został opracowany na podstawie anegdot dostępnych w Internecie i wystawiony podczas konkursu "Drama Connections" organizowanego przez Gimnazjum Nr 4 w Zamościu - zajęliśmy pierwsze miejsce :)
Scenariusz przedstawienia anglojęzycznego
?School is fun?
Everybody knows that school and learning is fun? Why is it so? Because of those interesting subjects? (z palcem w oku)
No way!!! Because of us. Your beloved students. (z uśmiechem)
We would like to welcome all of you to our 10-minute programme which was prepared on the basis of jokes found on the net. We hope you`ll find it very enjoyable.
Dzwoni dzwonek, nauczyciel wchodzi do klasy.
Hello, my dearest and beloved students.
STUDENTS: Hello, teacher.
Nauczyciel zwraca się do jednego z uczniów.
TEACHER: What are you writing, Sue?
STUDENT 1: A letter to myself.
TEACHER: And what does it say?
STUDENT 1: I don't know. I won't get it till tomorrow.
Nauczyciel podchdzi do ucznia i ze współczuciem głaszcze go po głowie. Następnie zwraca się do kolejnego ucznia.
TEACHER: Where is your pencil, Harmon?
STUDENT 2: I ain't got none.
TEACHER: How many times have I told you not to say that, Harmon? Now listen: I do not have a pencil. You do not have a pencil. They do not have a pencil. Now, do you understand?
STUDENT 2: Not really. What happened to all the pencils?
Nauczyciel bezradnie siada przy biurku. Nagle odzywa się uczeń z sali.
STUDENT 3: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Nauczyciel coraz bardziej staje się smutny. Zwraca się do kolejnego ucznia.
TEACHER: Did you Kate do your homework?
Bezradny i zniesmaczony nauczyciel rozpoczyna lekcje.
OK. So now. Let`s learn a bit of grammar.
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student 1: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student 1: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
TEACHER: Alvin, how many letters are there in the alphabet?
STUDENT 2: 18.
TEACHER: Wrong, there are 26.
STUDENT 2: No, teacher, there used to be 26, but ET went home in a UFO and the CIA went after them.
TEACHER: Tom, give an example of a sentence with two pronouns.
STUDENT 3: Him and me helped clean up the yard.
TEACHER: Now, don't you mean he and I helped?
STUDENT 3: No, Mrs. Jones, you weren't even there.
TEACHER: : What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
STUDENT 4: An envelope.
Teacher: "Sam, name two pronouns."
STUDENT 1: "Who, me?"
Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student 2: Obviously it is the past tense.
Dzwoni dzwonek. Nauczyciel smutny wychodzi z lekcji.
Teacher: Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood. He had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
TEACHER: Do you know the 20th President of the United States?
STUDENT 4: No, we were never introduced !What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
I don't know. I wasn't invited !
TEACHER: What did they wear at the Boston Tea Party ?
TEACHER: Can you tell me where elephants are found ?
STUDENT 1: We don't have to find elephants, they're so big, they don't get lost !
TEACHER: To which family does the lion belong?
STUDENT 2: I don't know, teacher. No family in ourneighborhood owns one.
TEACHER: Name an animal that lives in Lapland ?
STUDENT 3: A reindeer
TEACHER: Good, now name another.
STUDENT 3: Another reindeer !
TEACHER: "It's clear that you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?"
STUDENT 4: "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down !"
TEACHER: Which is faster, hot or cold?
STUDENT 1: Hot. You can always catch cold.
W tym czasie jeden z uczniów spada z krzesła.
TEACHER: Why did you fall off your chair?
STUDENT 2: I was just demonstrating the law of gravity.
Teacher: ok. So now tell me how we can get some clean water?
Student 3: Bring the water from the river and wash it.
Dzwoni dzwonek uczniowie z krzykiem wybiegają z klasy.